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Confidence & Self Esteem Coaching

Confidence & Self Esteem

When we understand - I mean REALLY understand - the incredible uniqueness, talents, and innate beauty that we possess, then it is easy to accept our flaws and the brokenness that comes with being human.

In order to possess healthy confidence and self esteem (I’m not talking about arrogance which is actually the sour fruit of low self esteem) — we need to be okay with our blind spots, and weaknesses.

Defining Self-esteem

[self-i-steem, self-] noun
1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
2. an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

There are many ways of defining and describing what self-esteem is.  Psychologist and author Nathaniel Branden defined self-esteem as "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness." He described self-esteem as the sum of self-confidence (a feeling of personal capacity to accomplish something) and self-respect (a sense of one’s own personal worth). The resulting combination creates the internal belief systems that every person has of their ability to handle life's challenges, to deserve and achieve happiness and the respect of others.

Components of Self Esteem

Branden argues that self-esteem is a human psychological need and that to the extent this need remains unmet, pathology  tends to result (defensiveness, anxiety, depression, difficulty in relationships, etc.). He defines self-esteem formally as “the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness”, and proposes that, while others (parents, teachers, friends) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, self-esteem also relies upon various internally generated practices.

Branden’s Six “Pillars” of Self-Esteem

  • Living consciously: the practice of being aware of what one is doing while one is doing it, i.e., the practice of mindfulness.
  • Self-acceptance: the practice of owning truths regarding one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with respect to them; and of being “for” oneself in a basic sense.
  • Self-responsibility: the practice of owning one's authorship of one's actions and of owning one’s capacity to be the cause of the effects one desires.
  • Self-assertiveness: the practice of treating one's needs and interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways.
  • Living purposefully: the practice of formulating goals and of formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them.
  • Personal integrity: the practice of maintaining alignment between one’s behaviors and convictions.

Confidence Pros & Cons

Want to find the sweet spot of self esteem that blends your self awareness and self confidence? We can help!

  • Lack of Confidence: Having too little confidence in our own abilities discourages us from attempting things that we might be able to achieve.
  • Failing forward: Having the courage and faith to try something and then change course if it doesn’t work out as originally planned.
  • Trusting Others: Our willingness to trust anyone has two components – first that they have the capacity to accomplish what is required of them or what they have promised to do.  Second that they have the character to do what they should do, to finish what they promised; even if it is a promise to self.

Supercharged Self Confidence

We can help you to know yourself -- really know yourself. Knowing yourself, knowing the things that make you anxious consciously and subconsciously, what your personal passions are, what your energy and limits are; these are all priceless in helping you to become confident and to have a healthy self esteem.

Our identity intelligence™ coaching will help you become intelligent about who you are. About your greatest strengths, and about your potential derailers. Armed with this knowledge you’ll be able to take educated risks in areas where you are most gifted; and avoid contexts that work against you. As you apply the knowledge gleaned from our coaching and assessments, you’ll grow in confidence and peace. We guarantee it.

Author: Scott Stockton